I am not sure if it is the season, or Max is just going through his “monsters under the bed” phase, but this is how our conversation went tonight as I was trying to get him settled down for bed. Lights were out and I was snuggling him.
Me: mmm hummm
Max: Tonight, after I fall asleep will you move me into to your bed? Because if I feel that I am alone in my sleep, then I will dream of…umm… like… penguins that are mummies.
Me: Humm (I made a non comitial noise hoping he’d drop it) Settle down, close your eyes, snuggle up and go shluffies baby.
[after a minute]
Me: mmm hummm
Max: I’m feeling concerned that this bed has monsters around it.
Me: You are feeling concerned? (where does he get this stuff!
Max: mmm hummm
Me: Well, this is MY house and no monsters can come in.
Max: Why not?
Me: ‘Cause I’m The Mommy
[Max is quiet for a minute while he thinks about this. Clearly "The Mommy" does have some mythical powers but he still had a question...]
Max: So if a monster came you would spray it with something and it would go away?
Me: Baby, I don’t really think there are monsters for real, but if one did come, yes I would spray it and it would run away. Now settle down, close your eyes, snuggle up and go ni-night.
[silence for a moment]
Max: What would you spray it with?
Me: Sparkle juice. (Sparkle juice? Really? What makes these things come out of my mouth?)
Max: Is sparkle juice like juice but with sparkles?
Me: Well it’s not like juice we would drink, but more like fairy juice with sparkles. It’s all pretty and happy so monsters don’t like it. So settle down, close your eyes, snuggle up and go sleepies.
Me: What Max?
Max: I’m sweaty.
[I pull his duvet off]
Max: Thanks mommy that’s better! (Why does he sound so delightedly surprised?)
Me: You’re welcome baby, now settle down, close your eyes, snuggle up and go to sleep.
[another few moments of silence]
Me: What Max? (still using a nice tone of voice but teeth clenched and about to lose the nice tone)
Max: I love you
[all annoyed wind taken out of my sails]
Me: I love you too baby, now settle down, close your eyes, snuggle up and go to sleep.
And shocker of all shockers?
That’s exactly what he did.