Pecked by Ducks

I know, I know, I’ve been trying to write this post for a week. I mean, I wrote two other posts. But I think that was because I was writing a letter and then a comment and they kind of got away from me and seemed like they would be good posts. I mean really honestly though, I feel like I was cheating. They weren’t “real” posts. They were extensions of something else I was doing.

Excuses? I don’t know. Guilt? My family is Jewish, I’m awesome at guilt. Whatever. What I really should be talking about is how I can’t get it together.

I am sad.

My grandmother is the first person really close to me that I have lost. I know I am lucky. I know I am glad she is no longer sick, scared or in pain. I also know that I’m not bouncing back like I think I should. I’ve got 3 posts I want to write (1st day of school, my tweightloss update & one environmentalist thing) , but all I can do is administrative stuff for Pecked by Ducks and Karen’s Kitsch, tweet and play spider solitaire or Civ III (I know, not even the new version ‘cause I can’t be bothered to go out and get it.)

We used to wear black for a year and cover the mirrors and stop the clocks. Children knew to be quiet around and gentle with people in black. There used to be a space in our society for people who can’t quite pull it together yet. But not so anymore. I tear up at stupid things. I keep re-reading my post. I hold my kids while they sleep. I feel tender, vague, distant. I have no patience for myself. It annoys me that I can’t focus, get things done, concentrate. I am NOT a person who doesn’t get things done. I have been in the same pajamas since Monday night.

I am on a diet. I HATE diets! This one was prescribed by my doctor and was designed to improve cardiac health by a cardiologist. I hate not eating fruit and whole grains. I like complaining about hating my diet, while I am sad. It feels more satisfyingly wrong (i.e. better to rant about) to be on a diet when one is sad. I do like recipes though. And I like thinking about all the things I am going to make and eat once I am allowed.

So here we go…I am way too excited to break out this Curry Pumpkin Pie recipe! I actually use delicata squash, but pumpkin works great too. I made it up while trying to figure out a lactose free recipe for a friend. I was using coconut milk instead of cream or sweetened condensed or evaporated and then (my spices aren’t labeled, I pick by smell) I grabbed the curry instead of the cinnamon on accident. The scent inspired me. I went through a bunch of variations, including some lime juice <bleck!> and up to 1 Tablespoon of curry <too hot!>, but finally as goldilocks would say, I got it “just right!” I hope you love this as much as I do!

Curry Pumpkin Pie

1 batch of Martha Stewart’s pâté brisée Why reinvent the wheel when it is already perfect.

15 oz delicata squash puree or 1 can pumpkin.

1 egg and 1 yolk (you can freeze the white for later, maybe a pavlova?)

1 can coconut milk

1 tsp curry

1 tsp cinnamon

3/4 cup evaporated cane juice or sugar if you don’t have

• Make pâté brisée pie crust, and place in refrigerator
• After at least 1 hour, preheat oven to 350°
• Roll out dough and place in pie plate and crimp edges
• Mix in a bowl all ingredients and pour into pie crust.
• Bake for 45 minutes and then start checking every 10 minutes until toothpick comes out damp but clean. Cool before serving. Add a generous dollop of real whipped cream if desired.

Tip and notes:

Shake the pie gently after 45 minutes. If the center is jiggley, you don’t need to stick in a toothpick, it definitely needs more time.

I call this pumpkin pie, and you can totally use pumpkin, even out of a can (please go organic if you do) but I really like steaming or boiling delicata squash and using that instead. The flavor is more, well, delicate. I use an immersion blender to make the puree very smooth and if it is too watery, I drain it in cheese cloth for 15 minutes or so.

Use regular coconut milk not light. Light is just 50% water. You are eating butter, sugar, eggs etc. It’s a treat. Use the regular coconut milk.

Use good quality curry and cinnamon it does make a difference.

For the pâté brisée, I use King Arthur flour. It is the only white all purpose flour that is not enriched, because it is ground in a way that does not leach out all of it’s nutrients. It is the best (works in all recipes) commercially available flour there is.