Pecked by Ducks

I should be writing out and posting 2 recipes for Deb, but instead I am writing a - it makes me look slightly crazy - love letter to a woman I’ve never met. Why? I don’t know. I got inspired? My grandma died last week, and I need to find some funny? I am procrastinating? Sure. Yes. Why not. That, and I love Martha Stewart as much as she loves Ellen and if she wants to be my bestest friend in the whole wide world I will cook tasty things for her forever and ever amen. That said, this is the e-mail I just sent her. Too much? Ummm…Never!

Dear Cynthia,

I hope this doesn’t freak you out, ‘cause I am totally not a freaky person, but I have just realized that you are my new stalking mission. I know, I know, I am quoting you, but doesn’t that kind of also prove my point?

When did I figure this out you ask? (The stalking bit I mean.) Well I’ll tell you. It was the very moment, I stopped, mid-read of one of your posts, to open a new tab and pull up amazon so I could add “The Men’s Guide to the Women’s Bathroom” to my wish list just because you wrote a funny post about it.

I mean anyone who loves Hugh Jackman is good with me. Frankly I think you are the cat’s meow. I can say this knowing that I won’t inadvertently make you sad because you love cats but don’t have one, because I happen to know that you now have Goody, and can take the expression for what it is without adding possibly and obviously unintentionally sad making extra meaning.

Of course now that I said that I am now starting to worry that since I have not read all of your posts yet (I started with your columns -“Beware The Father’s Day” link is broken btw and I’d like to read it when you get a chance- and progressed to your posts starting from your first post and working my way back to the present – I am on October 2007- see… good stalker-ish behavior) that something may have happened, like your husband’s “allergy” becoming real or something and Goody is no longer with you and me professing my enjoyment of your writing with a cat cliché may indeed be unintentionally sad making.

Now if you have made it this far without me totally freaking you out, maybe now would be a good time to mention that I am Cindy Muchnick’s cousin. Well technically Adam’s cousin, but you have had enough personal experience with Jewish families that you understand that it really doesn’t matter. Family’s, family. (My husband’s family is Lutheran and he calls us Jewtherans BTW.) And at my grandma’s funeral this past weekend, she raved about you. Ummm, not my grandma, obviously, Cindy.

I totally now get it (the raving) and am sad you live in CA, because I just know that if you lived in NC, you would be my new bestest friend in the whole wide world.

I hope you know that I am just kidding (mostly), but because I am also a bit addle brained from 5 years without sleeping more than 3-5 hours at a time (yes, I have 3 & 5 year old boys too) that this is just my way of saying I like and appreciate your blog, and am glad that Cindy has a friend like you!

-Karen

Crap, just got to November 2007 operation MEOW Part II <sheesh>